No fair

I don't have a best friend. No fair.

I don't have a boyfriend. No fair.

I don't have tons of money so I can go on Sephora shopping sprees without incurring massive debt. No fair.

The moral of the story, boys and girls, is that life is never fair, and if you want something real bad, you have to be prepared to work yo' ass off for it.

I did get a present. A spectacular one with the Dior logo engraved on it. I take all my words back. Hahahaha!

I've spent the midterm break slacking away. No Emerson, no Hawthorne, no assorted Sociology readings. Just me and my wild and woolly dreams.

I went to Crumpled Goat's wedding on Tuesday. Which got me started on ideas for my own wedding. For one, I'll pick a master-of-ceremony who won't pause the music in the middle of the bridal march and make the groom do pushups to prove his undying love for me.

So I still want a purple-and-white wedding. I'll give out test-tube vials of bubble solution and little voile satchets of violet confetti and petals at the traditional church wedding, a garden-y, summer-y affair with women wearing pastel tweed suits and their best dresses. And we'll ride away into the sunset in our vintage Cadillac convertible with a string of tin cans rolling on the road behind us.

And we'll book a charming, quaint love-hotel and invite all and sundry, anyone who means anything to us. And we'll host a wonderful banquet with lots of waltzing and mingling and mocktails for the kids and everyone will remember that night as our night and theirs.