Oh stupendous.
Me and the popular guys, it's never worked before. I'm just not that sort of girl. The girl who's decked out in Roxy and Billabong from head to toe, doesn't mind speed-dating and speed-breaking. I'm smart. And I don't consider myself conventionally pretty.
So I supposed I'll just have to get used to that.
At the same time, I don't want to keep on being a loser-magnet. Attracting only the desperate or the dumb ones. Hurhur. How am I to marry like that?
So I tell myself that instead of me hunting high and low for The One, why not let Him bring The One to me?
It'll be okay. I need time to heal and move on, to let the nightmares subside. I need time to grow in strength, in wisdom, in maturity.
And then maybe someone will find me beautiful. Someone who has a big heart, a big hug, and a big... brain. Got you there. I once told David that I'd like to look for someone who was smarter than me, so I could look up to him, and his reply was, "Well, that'd be hard to find". I take that as a compliment.
The ex. He wasn't that smart, nor that great, now that I have the benefit of hindsight. I just deluded myself into believing that he was all that, when he wasn't. We used to argue all the time about who was smarter (which in itself was a rather stupid thing to do). I still think I am. He never called me to tell me that he'd be an hour late, and never apologized when he reached. He threw his cellphone at me.
He always complained that he had no money, and that was another of our problem areas, because I am the kind of girl who loves nothing more than to be pampered and to be treated like a princess. Like.. I'm special.
I understand Not Having Enough Money. But to me, it simply wasn't enough, and I should not learn to settle for less. I have learnt that the hard way. Settle for less, and you wind up with a jerk who likes feeling under your skirt but who's not interested in what you feel. I wanted to be swept off my feet in a fairytale romance. I think I met the bad guy instead.
It wasn't about the money. It was about the willingness to spend what you didn't have as long as you loved her enough. People claim I'm too materialistic, but they don't understand.
Forget it. I can't.
So I supposed I'll just have to get used to that.
At the same time, I don't want to keep on being a loser-magnet. Attracting only the desperate or the dumb ones. Hurhur. How am I to marry like that?
So I tell myself that instead of me hunting high and low for The One, why not let Him bring The One to me?
It'll be okay. I need time to heal and move on, to let the nightmares subside. I need time to grow in strength, in wisdom, in maturity.
And then maybe someone will find me beautiful. Someone who has a big heart, a big hug, and a big... brain. Got you there. I once told David that I'd like to look for someone who was smarter than me, so I could look up to him, and his reply was, "Well, that'd be hard to find". I take that as a compliment.
The ex. He wasn't that smart, nor that great, now that I have the benefit of hindsight. I just deluded myself into believing that he was all that, when he wasn't. We used to argue all the time about who was smarter (which in itself was a rather stupid thing to do). I still think I am. He never called me to tell me that he'd be an hour late, and never apologized when he reached. He threw his cellphone at me.
He always complained that he had no money, and that was another of our problem areas, because I am the kind of girl who loves nothing more than to be pampered and to be treated like a princess. Like.. I'm special.
I understand Not Having Enough Money. But to me, it simply wasn't enough, and I should not learn to settle for less. I have learnt that the hard way. Settle for less, and you wind up with a jerk who likes feeling under your skirt but who's not interested in what you feel. I wanted to be swept off my feet in a fairytale romance. I think I met the bad guy instead.
It wasn't about the money. It was about the willingness to spend what you didn't have as long as you loved her enough. People claim I'm too materialistic, but they don't understand.
Forget it. I can't.
posted by Jasmine at 10:18 AM
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