Matrixised.

So I've finally done it and gotten myself a new blog. This blog will be what my previous used to be: writing for no-one else but myself.

One word to sum it all up? Disappointed.

The human factor in this is spelt with a capital D. I will never understand why the friendship deteriorated to reach the impasse it's at now. We are scarcely acquaintances. At the beginning of the semester, I told him about all my troubles; as the semester winds down, my troubles are (almost) all about him.

I am deeply hurt by this... drift. I don't understand how, or why we let it happen. We used to be so close, and we had such great fun together! Keeping it impersonal, and keeping emotion out of my dealings with him as teammates for the Midsummer Nights Dreame project has turned out to be easier than expected. But I cannot help but feel a sense of loss.

Melissa tells me it's nothing like what I imagine, that maybe he's just busy. I have never thought that being busy would give any friend a valid excuse to pull the plug on a friendship and let it slowly dissipate into indifference. Trust me, we are reaching that stage. And it just pains me, when I remember the happier times. When we weren't embarrassed to be seen together. He was like the older brother I never had.

Never had. Literally.

I hate that we were sacrificed. David and Jasmine, for Weixuan and Melvin. It was a brilliant waste.

So today, I'm feeling lonely again. And nobody will know. Maybe that is what hurts so bad.